Marriage…Pt 2.
I don’t like to be wrong. In fact…I’m down right stubborn about it. Once I make up my mind…that’s it. With that being said….I’ve changed my mind…If you want to refer back to a January post…I said very succinctly that I did not want to get married. I didn’t even like to think the word. So…fast forward five months…and it’s come up… I have trust issues. It was impossible to think that I could trust someone, a man especially. It was impossible to think that I could get past holding myself from a safe distance to fall in love. But friends…I am so there. When I started my almost a year ago, I met a guy that I’ll call D. He was pretty cool, a good guy to talk with at break, ride with to the ‘burg for lunch. And because of my self worth issues, I figured that was all he saw in me as well. As we talked we realized, we knew each other from over ten years ago, when we went to the same small church. I didn’t remember him, but somehow, he remembered me. He is the first guy that I’ve ever really trusted, loved. Not because I’m infatuated, but because he has taken the time to plant the seeds of trust, cultivate and care for them. D has shown me that there are good things out there, and that I deserve a share in them. He is a strong Christian man, who encourages my heart. He constantly tells me “I love you”, even though I struggle with those words, he waits patiently for me to be able to return them. He knows my past, and is patient and consiencious of what may cause me pain. He’s asked what I think of getting married. I can’t imagine going a day without him. So…am I getting married? Not yet. Is it on my mind? It sure is. Do I like the idea? Yes I do.
